I used to be someone else

Be Kind Rewrite’s inspiration Monday challenge was to:

Write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before 6 pm CST on the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

Before the earth was round*

Thinking is the best way to travel*

I used to be someone else

His revenge was different than I expected

A cat in a dog park


This is my entry which is only 333 words.

I Used to be Someone Else

The revolting smell of urine stung her nostrils and she was sure it wasn’t water that was all over the floor. She closed her eyes to try to shut out the flickering from the bright lights above her. Their ear-piercing hum made her want to scream. This was the worst possible place she could have chosen to recover but the cold tile felt glorious against her body. So there she sat waiting for the spinning to stop. She needed to regain control but she wanted another drink.

“Hey lady this is the men’s room, you shouldn’t be in here,” he slurred his words, she didn’t budge.

She always hated bars. She hated the loud music, the men groping her every chance they got and the drinking, well she despised that the most.

”You don’t look so good lady, you want me to go get someone for you?” she tried her best to ignore him.

Her father had been a drunk. Luckily, he spent more time at the bar than he did at home. He consumed money faster than her mother earned it. As a kid she never understood why he was like he was. Now she did, she too had developed a thirst.

“I am going to go get someone to help you lady,” she could smell the whisky on his breath as he bent down near her almost toppling over.

She stood up slowly. The man had his back to her now. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He turned and faced her. She could see the look of terror in his eyes.

When she was done she pulled him into the stall where she had hidden the other body. She wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve and glanced towards the mirror a tiny tear trickled down her cheek. She used to enjoy gazing in the mirror, styling her hair and putting on makeup.

She couldn’t help but think, “I used to be someone else.”


About Billie Jo Schinnerer

Born and raised on the edge of the Helderberg Escarpment in eastern New York. Formerly a primary and middle school teacher. Moved to the North West area of England in 2003. Now a mother of three and a wannabe author.
This entry was posted in Flash Fiction Stories and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to I used to be someone else

  1. Peter Saint-Clair says:

    Wow, totally unexpected. Good job!

  2. Well done! Interesting ending 🙂

  3. Billie, you are the mistress extraordinaire of the surprising ending!

  4. Mike says:

    Great story.
    Loved the ending – wasn’t expecting that at all.

  5. Elle Rohan says:

    Nice twist! Great job, Billie.

  6. This is one of the best flash fictions I’ve read. Great job! And nice twist at the end. 🙂

  7. Not at all what I imagined would happen. Wow!

  8. That one caught me flat footed. I thought at first she was on drugs or drunk. That ending was a bit of a surprise.

    I really liked it and publicly posted I did. It seems you might like springing surprises on folks like I myself do now and then.

    cyber hugs for health, happiness, and always and ever, skoodles and skadoodles of love

    marantha jenelle of “marantha’s memories, mumbles and meanderings”

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