A Reason to Fight

A Reason to Fight

A wise man once wrote, “All the world is a stage. And all the men and women merely players.”

I used to love to be a player on that stage. I found it exhilarating living life day by day completely unscripted.

My life was simple, my life was free. Then one by one little scripts changed it all.

The first script was a love story with a happy ending. The second script was a birth story which became the ultimate love story. The third script, knocked the wind out of me.

On the morning I was to be cast in my new role, I had started taking my old ones for granted.

I stepped into the shower to start what I believed to be a dull and mediocre day and that was when I was recast. I washed my hair, then my face and moved on to my body. Was that a lump I felt?

Tears mingled with the water. This was a stage I had hoped I’d never have to walk on to.

My life was no longer simple, my life was no longer free.  I longed to be the old me again.

Tests, more tests and a few more tests later and I was ready for the opening night.

Pain, illness and tiredness became my existence. My new part was one I played well, too well. My days grew shorter, my internal flame grew dimmer.

Months after my debut, I heard the laughter of a child in the hall outside my room. I remembered laughter, I remembered that child, I remembered how much I loved that child.

I remembered I was an actress playing a role. Without a script, I could improvise to my heart’s content. I began to cast myself in a new role. This was one I would write, direct and produce. I would be the star I had set out to be many years before.

The practice was intense, the wardrobe and make up department were kept on their toes. There was even one dress rehearsal along the way but finally after all the hard work, I was once again ready to step foot on a brand new stage.

It was only as I lay dying that I remembered to live. My child gave me a reason to fight.

 

This week’s story is dedicated to someone I hold dear and I hope she finds her own reason to fight.

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About Billie Jo Schinnerer

Born and raised on the edge of the Helderberg Escarpment in eastern New York. Formerly a primary and middle school teacher. Moved to the North West area of England in 2003. Now a mother of three and a wannabe author.
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32 Responses to A Reason to Fight

  1. Indigo Spider says:

    I can’t find the words to express what I would like to say so I will simply say, this story gave me some inspiration to fight my own battle. Thanks Billie Jo.

  2. Mmm, nice one, Billie Jo.

  3. Jo Eberhardt says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

  4. billie jo, i lost my brother in law to cancer, as well as two friends when i was younger. this story is one that touched my heart deeply.

    i will hold best wished for both you and your friend, and for all who suffer, in my heart.

    be blessed,dear lady,

    marantha

  5. I love this, especially the way the metaphor carries through the story.

  6. So beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing this with us.

  7. Jody Moller says:

    A beautiful piece piece Billie-Jo.

  8. Thanks Jody, it was one of those that had to be written.

  9. An amazing story, Billie Jo. It’s one of those perfect tales where every little piece fits. I do hope your loved one finds her own reason to fight. *hug*

  10. Gene Lempp says:

    Breathless. Beautiful words Billie Jo, you truly captured the essence of this struggle flavored with the inspiration to press forward for all the reasons that bring richness to our lives. Thanks.

  11. This is much beauty behind your words, in this piece. The pain and fear when faced with these situations is intense, but so is the love that motivates to keep fighting and keep going. The uphill battles are excruciating but the smiles afterward are lovely.

    I will be thinking of you through all of this.

    • Thank you! We found out today she will require a full mastectomy which they will do on Thursday. Keeping you and your friend in my thoughts as well.

      • May your inner strength shine through – for both of you. This is not only difficult for her but, you, too. You need to be there for each other.
        I will be thinking of you!
        (My dear friend is home now. She had her double mastectomy last Thursday and went home on Sunday. She is hanging on, strong!)

      • Glad your friend is home and on the mend. I will continue to think of you both. Thanks again for your support.

  12. Pingback: Inspiration Monday XIX « BeKindRewrite

  13. Mike says:

    A lovely piece of writing Billie Jo. Very moving and obviously written from the heart.
    Thanks.

  14. Kay Camden says:

    I agree with Mike. I could tell this one had some real life mixed in. So sorry to hear.

  15. Janel says:

    Very dramatic and heartfelt. So sorry that real life played a part in it.

  16. Yes, they do, don’t they! Different circumstances, same scenario … loss of hope, loss of vision, loss of connection … isolated … distraught until I heard, “Mommy, I’m hungry!” Yes … a reason to fight, indeed!
    Excellent!

  17. Thanks for commenting Barb. I am glad you found something in the piece that you could connect with. As a mother I think I would certainly do anything for my little people, they have such power over me.

  18. pattisj says:

    You cut right to the heart, Billie Joe. Very well written. Prayers for both of you.

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