For the month of August, I challenged writer’s to write a creation story. I have never participated in one of my own challenges but I have recently been working on a creation story for the lytes who live in my series of novels. This is a shorter and more adapted version of their creation story. It is the unedited passage from book 1, chapter 6 entitled dreams, which i am currently editing and rewriting. This is from a scene where my protagonist begins having visions of her early ancestors.
The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as a shiver slithered up her spine. Sourness rose from her throat and collected in her mouth, a strange rippling through her jaw made her cheeks feel pinched from the inside.
A reassuring arm placed around her shoulders startled her as it revealed she was not alone. She opened her eyes to discover some of the others in her company were not of her kind. An arced metal wall appeared to spin rapidly around them. The sway of the craft sent another wave of nausea through her body and her stomach rolled once again.
The men next to her on her left were about her father’s height. She took comfort that their skin was as rich as the soils that surrounded her home as her own skin was that colour, the others skin was like nothing she had ever seen. The two men appeared slightly older than she was but the girl appeared about her age. On all of their arms were golden cuffs at their wrists and just above the elbows. They wore jewelled bands around their heads and heavy rows of golden bars adorned with jewels at their necks. The other girl wore long white robes but the men only wore fabric tied at their waists and then adorned with more golden jewellery. Her unembellished clothing was nothing in comparison, for she was a slave.
Although seated, it was clear the other three travellers were all taller than they were. One male had thick black hair cut off bluntly just below his shoulders. His translucent pale blue eyes had such depth that upon gazing into them she felt as though she would fall into them. His shoulders were strong and wide-set but tapered down to a trim waist. His skin appeared as white as milk but just below the surface, there was a pale bluish tint that appeared to be on a different depth. He introduced himself as Lazuli.
The being travelling next to him called Lyra had a tall slender build. Her skin matched her long golden hair. Her bright blue eyes sparkled and gave off a sense of happiness. She was stunning. Her silky sky coloured suit fit tight against her pale body like a second skin.
The last traveller called Carneli was slightly shorter and more muscular than the other two. His skin was ruddy. His wavy hair was coppery red and shoulder length. His eyes were a deep green. He seemed more crude and coarse than the other two but appeared to soften when he gazed at Lyra.
As the craft bounced and shook out of control, the beings exchanged looks of concern before they spoke. The ship was now off course. They were going to have to find a place to land. The rapid turning motion made her wretch again. She closed her eyes and heard the others start wailing and crying out in fear.
The word war was ringing in her ears as she heard the beings muttering reassurances to her and the others. She began to tremble. The craft suddenly halted. Everyone hurled forward and then back again in rapid succession. A bright flash filled the area, a loud clap hurt her ears, and then as if all the power had gone from within the ship it began to spiral downwards out of control. The light in the craft had gone out. She fell from her seat and landed on the ceiling. The craft spun rapidly in the other direction, its passengers thrown about yet again.
The ship crashed down. She had lost consciousness, as she came to and tried to open her weighty eyelids she noticed a bluish light filtered in through the slits. When she finally gained strength and opened her eyes fully, she saw Lazuli was knelt over her with his eyes fixed on her. He appeared deep in concentration. She thought him to be beautiful.
She glanced sideways to discover a white glow emitted from all around Lyra as she finished hovering over one of the men. She though it odd that everyone only suffered minor injuries despite the massive impact. As they stepped out to the alien land, the other humans begged the beings for mercy on their people. They were calling them gods. The gods were solemn and she sensed they too felt helpless. The vast and beautiful land was lush with life and less hot than her home had been. She was almost excited to explore.
Over time, the two different species, both left abandoned in their new world, had learned to live together in harmony. They were joyful that their cave dwellings were ample and of good quality. They foraged for food and water was plentiful.
She stood under the pale sun and glanced up at the sky reminiscing, she and Lazuli had a wonderful lifetime together. She had a sense of honour and pride. Her soul felt fulfilled. There was a feeling of community around her and she was an original member of it. Her body ached and she knew her time to pass had nearly come.
She looked over to where Lazuli played with one of her great-grandchildren, he still looked as young as ever, he still had a few centuries left in his life. He had been a great leader in their time of need and continued to offer great wisdom to their people. She was pleased he would live on to guide them as they shaped their new world.
Billie Jo, this is beautiful! It’s very lyrical and I got caught-up in the story right-away, now I’m very curious what your novel is about 🙂 Keep up the fab work -and great choice to share with us as part of your flash fiction.
Thank you! This is from book one. The novel is about people we know as ‘The Sandman’ here on Earth, the truth is there is not just one of them and they are not all men. My protagonist is a female and she is 14 cycles in age. Hoping to finish editing/rewriting soon. I have to get a couple more beta readers lined up since mine have had their homes devastated by flooding from Hurricane Irene then when they feedback to me I hope to start querying.
It sounds intriguing 🙂 I’m looking forward to updates. I hope you get your beta readers together. How many beta readers does one need? I’ve got 5 but only 2.5.5 get back to me when I need their input, so need to re-look into this again in the next few weeks.
Good luck with the querying.
Thanks again. I had lined up three beta readers but had not sent them anything yet. I will find more soon.
I really enjoyed reading this story, Billie Jo. I’ve always been fascinated with creation ideas. Your story also fits my August Dreams challenge if you wanted to enter it there. I would add your name to the list 😉
Thanks! I had looked at your dreams challenge but wasn’t sure whether it would make the cut. I will pop over and post it there.
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