When I was little…

When I was little I couldn’t wait to get big. I imagined I would live in a big house, ride in a big car, have a big family and have a big important job. I knew back then everything was better when you were big.

And now that I am big I wish I could get little again every so often. I am not just talking about my physical size although that could do with becoming littler but to experience all the simplicity an imaginative, innocent and new life can provide would be an amazing experience. I watch my infant daughter get mesmerised by her hands or squeal in delight as she makes new sounds with her tongue and wonder how exciting that must feel. I watch the thrill in my big kid’s faces as they experience new things and wish to be filled with that much joy.

Sometimes I live it through watching them. I feel a smile spread across my face and my heart warm my insides. Back when my life was a little more uncluttered I would feel a little buzz as a new story idea would pop into my head and I could obsess over it for awhile but it would always be on a much smaller scale than anything I witness coming from my children. How do we get that kind of wonder back?

I am making it a goal in April to try to do new things, to try and recapture some of that fresh new joy and to try to experience the world as if it were new. I promise to try and see what writing it inspires too.


About Billie Jo Schinnerer

Born and raised on the edge of the Helderberg Escarpment in eastern New York. Formerly a teacher. Moved to the North West area of England in 2003. Now a mother of three who doesn’t really know what she wants to be when she grows up.
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