“You can tell couples by the way their bodies act when they are together. Those two are a couple but not the loving kind. She’s like a cat on a charged wire and he looks like a venus fly trap.”
The man next to me nods out of boredom. I don’t care. I haven’t talked to another human in two days. He made the choice to sit next to me.
“He pretends to be calm. He ain’t. He’s all pressure and she knows it.” I am not offended that my words are met with a turned shoulder.
“See that he stands, she stands,” my elbow makes contact with the man’s rib.
He turns to look just in time to see what I see, what all of us see. As a collective we stand. He pushes past me and dives at the girl.
“Oh my word, good lord above. That I did not see coming. Lord help her, she’s gonna need it,” I mutter to no one but myself.
This is my second post for voice week. The object of voice week is to tell the same story each day in 100 words from the perspective of five different characters all having a different voice. I went slightly over on the word count for this voice but the rules can be bent a little and I felt this voice was one of many words anyway. If you want to participate or read any of the other participants work you can head over to voice week head quarters and find out more there.
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Ah, the people-watcher. Fascinated by people, a little bit lonely but a generally happy person. Feels like a girl, but could be a guy. I like how the man next to her is standoffish at first, but ready to spring into action when he sees trouble. Looking forward to finding out what’s going on. I’m feeling like they’re about to rob some place, she’s terrified and has just fainted. Just a guess though.
I like your guess. Time will tell. 🙂
I picture you depicting how curious onlookers can misinterpret a scene or a person?
Quite a contrasting voice of a gregarious girl(?) compared to the shy teen earlier. This one’s older, more confident, less caring… Very interesting!
I think initially I was going to do a misconception piece but the characters developed into a much bigger story so the misconception might not be so clear now.
I’m picturing some old woman who has no family or friends left. She’s ventured out of her home and is just watching the world go by.
That was sort of what came to mind. There is always one like her in grocery store lines, on buses or in waiting rooms. I felt she needed to be here in this story.
I’m still not sure what’s going on, but I’m sure that’s the point. I like what you’ve done with this character’s voice – clever people-watching and selfishly talking to the guy next to her! “All of us see” and “as a collective we stand” seems a bit odd, like she’s including lots of people in this, but I don’t know who else is there…?
Tomorrow’s post will make it more clear about the other people who are there.
I did not see that coming either. It is like people watching. Such different views.
Originally all the voices were external to the story and basically all people watchers but I added the girl in voice 1 in and she is the story so I broke away from that a little. I do love a good people watching session.
The story is slowly unfolding. We know from yesterday that the young girl is terrified, but why? I’m still not sure. Looking forward to finding out!
A little more will be revealed each day but the big reveal isn’t until voice number 5.
Just the way it should be. Love a big finale! 😉
Wow–I really like this. The confusion is there, but at the same time things seem very clear in the oddest way. Excellent work.
Thank you Evan. I guess the confusion is intentional but there is some clarity in there too.
I’m so curious about what’s going on! This is well done; a voice clearly contrasting with yesterday’s. I love this character’s personality. Looking forward to more!
I think day 5 will clear up the what is going on. So just two more voices to go.
Time will reveal all.
I love how this character kind of knows they’re being annoying but doesn’t really care. I feel like that’s an emotion we can all relate to on some level. Can’t wait to figure out what’s going on here!
Ooo Billie Jo, I love this voice, she instantly pulled me in, love how she craves to talk, and this line: ““See that he stands, she stands,” my elbow makes contact with the man’s rib.” made me chuckle, so comfortable and carefree. Nicely done. I cannot wait till read all.
I’m not sure what to make of this, but I’m interested to keep going and see how this plays out.